‘This is the real world – people don’t just hand out free monkeys.’
‘Imagine what would happen if you sharpened the chicken!’
‘More people mention us in their last words than any other store-brand cheesecake.’
‘There’s no justice like angry mob justice!’
‘Feet are God’s pretzels.’
‘I have words coming into my head, but they’re in Hebrew, so I don’t understand them.’
‘A great sandwich on bad bread is like slurping fine wine from an empty watermellon shell.’
‘Keep your feet out of the tub… and keep reaching for the stars!’
‘But God did layeth a smacketh down on the egyptians!’
‘I’d love to embrace you, but first I have to satisfy my sense of moral outrage.’
‘Some people were just halfheartedly banging on tupperware…I could tell they weren’t really into it.’
‘You’re the only one who understands me. Yeah, but it doesn’t mean I care.‘
‘but I wanna sell out to the man!’
‘I’m going to have a near-death experience if it KILLS me!’
‘Hey, I love you… don’t make me cut your brake line!’
‘Brain FOOD, brain CANCER, same difference’
‘Facts schmacts, facts can be used to prove anything that’s even REMOTELY true!’
‘Nothing says Christmas like a cross-dressing cockroach!’