‘If I wanted that pansy-ass no scrubbie crap I’d go to Boston.’
Author: Kristen
‘Thank god I had that skull or I would have had NOTHING to work with!’
‘You should have a wand only for cheese making and little baby booties to match!’
‘Nice job beating the fetus!’
‘Finally, a sunset that stays crunchy in milk.’
‘I will spawn my own private army of fuzzy easter chicks!’
‘You can always draw a straight line between two points… Unless one of the points is a duck; ducks are naturally curvy.’
‘You can ruin a perfectly good movie with one JUB JUB.’
‘Don’t get your feet stuck in the sewing machine.’
‘It’s a dark, dark bucket with a dark, dark purpose.’
‘Uzi?? That’s like the N’Sync of home semi-automatic weapons.’
‘Run! He’s wearing a fish!’
‘Coming to this planet was worth it just for the produce!’
‘I am here to wake you up and cover you with cheddar cheese.’
‘How do you mime a lime?’
‘Now I know what to do if I ever find myself trapped inside a tin can.’
‘Miniature ducks don’t really exist; there’s some sort of pocket-sized trickery afoot.’
‘Our church does good things AND we like donuts.’
‘What -DO- you do with a drunken shaman?’
‘Never mind then. Just grease up the mouse.’