‘It’s like having two kids, when every morning is Christmas morning, and they communicate with ritual drumming.’
Author: Kristen
‘You’re drunk on power and sour cream!’
‘All those years of war mongering and this is the first time anyone’s said thank you!’
‘It’s an urban legend in a pigeon’s stomach.’
‘Doughnuts aren’t washable.’
‘I will try every one of you like different flavored popsickles.’
‘I don’t think I’ve ever been counterbalanced by a goldfish.’
‘We are at war… several people are dead.’
‘Sometimes launching heads out of a cannon can be disturbing.’
‘Spirit mustard doesn’t spread as well on hotdogs.’
‘You don’t want to piss off the international cheese council.’
‘Hell hath no fury like the vast robot armies of a woman scorned.’
‘I thought he was dancing, but it was really a man-frolic.’
‘Good friends are like waffles, they don’t light each other on fire.’
‘How do you teach an elephant to be deathly afraid of macaroni?’
‘Synchronised vomiting by herons is a very unlikely explanation.’
‘We don’t believe in the devil. We don’t offer sacrifices. We follow the rules of the Parks Department.’
‘Linguini and ferrets are definitely opposites.’
‘At least you know the innkeeper is lightning-proof.’
‘Some day I hope my home planet will be Wanker’s Corner.’