‘No, mayonnaise has a horrible power to weight ratio.’
Author: Kristen
‘Fruit juice does not give you the right to be evil.’
‘I’ve always considered broccoli to be a terrorist act.’
‘So what should Wyoming do? They’re sagging!’
‘I have this vendetta about disallowing vegetables.’
‘I’m talking about people who walk around all day with migraines so bad they have to stay in bed.’
‘She’s always been so sudden.’
‘I don’t know about other people but I spin clockwise.’
‘Marshmallow is the only stable force in the universe.’
‘Justice has little or nothing to do with a disobedient whale.’
‘If you find yourself soaking in warm ketchup, you’ll know you’ve done something wrong.’
‘But then, even the bravest of men may want his willy in the afterlife.’
‘You don’t get to see that far up a cat’s nose very often.’
‘If we could only get excited about canned meat, life would be easy.’
‘People really knew how to fall down in those days.’
‘Old propane tanks: they’re not good eatin.’
‘Mercury retrograde is 67 octane.’
‘Iron monkey wasn’t having cows in it.’
‘I’ve always wanted to date a sarcophagus.’
‘I remember your little meat pillows.’