‘It looks like you’re eating the cross section of a radioactive mouse.’
Author: Kristen
‘It’s like milk toast, but with more blood.’
‘If you had a shoe that shot guilt at people you’d have the ultimate Christmas gift.’
‘Nothing is better than enjoying a soy latte while using the word impressionism in a sentence.’
‘I’ve got sprinkles stuck in my life line.’
‘I figured I didn’t need a written release from you to use your eyeball.’
‘The “mystery squash” probably involved his foot and a melange of vegetables.’
‘A man is only as young as his chicken.’
‘For some reason, he’s not a twenty year-old plumber.’
‘Barbarians don’t wear velour.’
‘Your reason to live is partially blocking the left hand lane.’
‘Christmas is really about aluminum.’
‘Can the general public get frozen won tons?
‘I would just love to see you gargle with haggis.’
‘The only problem with snake zombies is that they can’t stick their arms out when they walk.’
‘When is a black blob NOT happy?’
‘If you find pizza in the yard, you can eat it.’
‘I’m a zombie, not a plastic surgeon.’
‘Did you invite them in for tea and knick knacks?’
‘You have to have a big appetite to eat an oxymoron.’