‘California is just one big Whitney Houston song.’
Author: Kristen
‘Being nerdful is like being mindful but not as flattering.’
‘You, I don’t know at all; but YOU, I don’t know even MORE.’
‘Squid pornography is really in demand.’
‘Zebras don’t have antlers… they don’t have wheels either.’
‘It’s like jello that came out of a frog.’
‘You pay way too much attention to the consciousness of little plastic spoons.’
‘It wasn’t until the hummingbird pooped on my grilled cheese that I had my epiphany.’
‘You are the bad boy of tea-based box staining.’
‘You can just picture a big ballroom full of appropriately dressed people doing things.’
‘I just have a hard time mindlessly watching people turn left.’
‘I wish I could do everything in the potato.’
‘Once again, my rudimentary knowledge of Scottish weaponry saves the day!’
‘It’s not every day you get to see the Prince of Darkness enjoy some Jell-O Salad.’
‘She feeds turtles… she MUST like pastrami.’
‘With a steady supply of the undead you could set up a hot tub with bubble jets.’
‘Puritans don’t show up for church in sweatpants.’
‘Combing the bicycles out of your hair, eh?’
‘Cigarettes have wheels, right?’
‘First, you take a hypercube, then a heat press…’